Learning Spanish with Leo Valdez
by ResidentOfCabin6
Summary: Are you interested in learning another language? Or simply looking for a way to avoid summer school? The come to Bunker Nine at 10:00 in the morning on Thursday, when there will be Spanish classes taught by the Super Sized McShizzle himself, Leo Valdez! Alert Leo or another child of Hephaestus by Tuesday if you plan to attend, hope to see you there!


**Hey-o everyone, this is an idea I've had and had started for months, but I only just got around to writing it. Obviously, this is just meant for laughs and not to be taken seriously. If any canon character seems out of character, let me know, particularly with Jason since I have a lot of trouble writing him. The Spanish is accurate to my knowledge, but I've only finished Spanish I, so I likely messed up somewhere. The Latin, by Jason, is purely based off of Google Translate, so please correct me if it's wrong. I plan for this story to remain a one-shot, but maybe if I get enough requests, I'll add more. Maybe. Moving on, I hope you guys enjoy, and stay awesome.**

 **-ROC6 :)**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognize, including Snickers, My Little Pony, the song Call Me Maybe and the game rock-paper-scissors.**

" _¡Hola mis estudiantes!_ " A Latino teenager greeted cheerfully, his hair sparking dangerously, "Welcome to _la clase de español!_ "

The group of demigods gathered in one of the cleaner rooms in Bunker 9 stared at him blankly as they sat at dangerously pointy and unstable desks made from scrap metal.

Leo glared at them mock sternly, "Come on class, that one was easy!"

The dark haired teen walked up to the wall, and, realizing he didn't have a chalkboard, lit his finger and seared a greeting into the wall, which read chipperly (with a few spelling errors) _¡Hola mis estudiantes!_ _Welcome to_ _Spanish_ , which was then crossed out and replaced with _Awesome Class!_

"Alright," he announced, oblivious to the difficulty his students were having reading what he wrote on the board-er, wall, "To begin, I think we should learn everyone's names and reason for learning Spanish. So everybody, circle up, and push the desks against the walls, alright?"

Some of the gathered demigods murmured things as they moved the desks, some of which fell apart, against the wall, before shuffling into a shape more akin to an amoeba than a circle.

Surveying the shape, Leo shrugged, "Close enough. I'll start. Alright everybody, I'm the Super-Sized McShizzle, Taco Master and Bad Boy Supreme, Leo Valdez, and I'm here to teach you the ways of awesomeness. Jason, how about you go next?"

The blonde shot a look at his friend, then blandly stated, "I'm Jason, and I'm here because Leo forced me to come for 'moral support and demonstrational purposes.'"

"Tsk, tsk," the Latino chided his friend, "You need a more positive attitude, Sparky. Try again."

Jason repeated his statement, finger quotes and all, with a strange look at Leo, who seemed to accept that this was the best he was going to get. The rotation continued around the circle, including demigods with a variety of reasons for attending. To name a few there's Bobby (he wanted to meet a member of the 'Seven', he still looked like he was about to pass out), Marina (she thought it would be useful) and Kate (it was this or summer school).

Clapping his hands, Leo announced that next, they would be moving the desks back into position while he ran to find some paper. He ducked into various workrooms before finding one that was chock full of paper, to his delight. And it had a Snickers bar, which he happily ate. It occurred to him that it had likely been there for years, but he shrugged, deciding it didn't matter. Grabbing a few stacks of paper, he ran out of the room, mentally taking a note of where the room was located in Bunker Nine in case he needed it in the future.

Meanwhile in the classroom, Leo had left Jason in charge of a room full of hyper demigods, and he was trying his hardest to control the chaos that had erupted upon Leo's exit. Various objects were flying through the air, all of which were pointy and most of which were weapons. Jason saw some objects that looked to him like grenades, and he sincerely hoped that they either weren't armed or weren't dangerous. Multiple fights had broken out throughout the 'classroom', and mythical powers were starting to be pulled into the squabbles, which all around made the classroom look less like a converted workshop and more like a combat zone.

The son of Jupiter used his powers over the winds to ensure that nobody was hit by any of the assorted flying objects, and he heralded them all to the corner of the room, blowing away anyone who got close. Thus, he removed _Random Flying Objects_ from his mental list of dangerous activities currently occurring in the vicinity. The blonde haired teen attempted to mediate a few of the fights that had broken out, mostly over idiotic things, such as who's favorite color was superior, but none of the arguing demigods were choosing to pay him any attention, much to his chagrin.

Jason sighed, his piercing blue eyes surveying the room as he attempted to discover peaceful ways he could wrangle the group of godly troublemakers under control. Finally, he reached a decision and made his way to the front of the classroom, standing next to the wall that Leo had scorched a greeting onto, surveying the students currently ravaging the classroom. All the demigods that had previously stated that they were suffering from hero worship of the 'Seven' were currently sitting at some of the few desks still standing, making valiant attempts to behave like civilized students amidst the chaos. That meant that, if Jason counted correctly, nine of the twenty-six students were somewhat under control.

Four of the six children of Athena were also behaving like civilized human (or part human, at least,) beings, the blonde teen noticed thankfully, but the other two children of Athena were arguing with some of their fellow demigods about school. The remaining demigods were all involved in various destructive activities, including fighting, playing rock-paper-scissors, arm wrestling and discussing My Little Pony. All of this, Jason took note of in mere seconds, before he took a deep breath and attempted to get the gathered demigods back into the realm of 'under control'.

"Everybody, listen up!" he shouted at the assembled students, using the winds to project his voice loudly and startling some of the demigods that hadn't been paying attention to him, "You're all here for Leo's class, but if you don't start acting like you can handle it, I'm sure I can speak with Chiron and Mr. D about getting you put on dish duty. Do you want that?"

There was a general shaking of heads accompanied by wide eyes and clamped-shut mouths as any signs of violence, hand games or My Little Pony vanished from the room.

"Good," Jason commented, staring each of the offending demigods in the eye, "Now, I want you all to find a desk to sit at where you'll be quiet and respectful until Leo returns. If all the desks are claimed, then I want you to stand quietly in the back of the classroom."

The demigods quickly and quietly followed his instructions, with most of them filing towards the back of the classroom, since most of Leo's top notch, scrap metal desks had fallen apart.

With perfect timing, the son of Hephaestus chose that exact moment to wander back into the classroom, whistling a tune that sounded suspiciously like Call Me Maybe.

Glancing around the classroom, he grinned devilishly, "See, Jason? You always get all of the easy work. While I had to run all over Bunker Nine to find us some paper, you got to stand here and watch them all do nothing."

"Actually, Leo-" the blue eyed son of Jupiter attempted to correct, but Leo wasn't hearing any of it.

"Never fear, though, as the embodiment of awesome-"

"The students went a little-" he continued in vain.

"I am willing to make the sacrifices-"

"Crazy while you were gone," Jason finished lamely, knowing his friend hadn't registered a word he'd said.

"So other people don't have to. No worries, though, Shortstuff-"

"I'm taller than you," the blonde teen corrected with a sigh, pushing his gold rimmed glasses up his nose.

The Latino teen continued on as though Jason hadn't said anything, "I'm sure Piper'll still appreciate you, even if you're not nearly as awesome as _moi_."

Giving up on trying to get through to his friend, Jason elected to leave the classroom.

Smirking, his flame-wielding friend called after him, "I need you back here in two minutes!"

"Okay!" he heard his friend call back, still walking away.

"Alright, so, it just occurred to me that we don't have any writing utensils, and I can't produce enough motor oil from my tool belt for everyone to get some to dip their weapons in and use like those feathery, medieval whatchamacallits, so we're just not going to take notes today," the suspender-clad demigod announced, turning towards the class and rubbing his hands together, then he added mock-sternly, "But you better all be paying very close attention."

"Okay, _su primera lección es-_ " Leo started, then blinked, switching back to English, "Your first lesson will be saying, 'Jason is annoying.'"

The class, surprisingly, was watching with rapt attention, though that might just have been because they could easily replace the name Jason and scream it at their enemies or siblings. Then again, in their minds, the two were likely synonyms.

"Repeat after me," Leo said, eyes flickering all across the classroom as his students attempted not to watch his hands build a rubber band motorcycle, "' _Jason es fastidioso._ '"

There was a garbled attempt by the glass to repeat what he said, but it ended up sounding murky and warped, causing the son of Hephaestus to wince at the mutilation of the language.

"Alright, that was...something," he said, then continued on brightly, "Lucky you, I'm not making you say Jason like a Latin American. Now again, ' _Jason es fastidioso_.'"

The class repeated what he said, this time at least intelligible as what they were attempting to say, even if it wasn't by any means a perfect attempt.

"Passable," the fire wielder dismissed. He then proceeded to check his wrist, despite not wearing a watch, before looking back up at his students, letting loose a wild grin as his hair started sparking, "Jason will be back in twenty-three seconds. When he walks in, I want you all to point and shout, ' _Jason es fastidioso._ ' _¿Comprenden?_ "

The class nodded, still afraid to speak out in fear of receiving the dreaded dish duty. Their teacher's flaming hair may also have had something to do with their behavior.

Not long after Leo finished speaking, Jason walked into the classroom exactly when the fire wielder had said he would, and the class proceeded to follow their instructions to a tee.

Looking unimpressed, the son of Jupiter glanced at the students before staring pointedly at his friend, "Is this what you meant by 'demonstrational purposes'?"

"No," the Latino replied without hesitation, leading to his friend's mental groan, "And relax, they were just saying that you're awesome, bro."

"Ego graviter dubium est," the blonde haired teen responded.

"What?" his friend asked, staring at him blankly, then, apparently deciding it didn't matter, "Moving on, _mis estudiantes_ , I shall teach you to say 'Leo is awesome' in Spanish. Repeat after me, ' _Leo es asombroso._ '"

The class repeated, and this time they were reasonably successful on the first try, much to Leo's pride as he wiped away a fake tear, "Taught 'em everything they know. Moving on, next the Bad Boy Supreme 'll be teaching y'all how to say-"

Just then, Leo was cut off by a blaring alarm as smoke started pouring into the classroom. Immediately, he pulled a squirt bottle out of his toolbelt and went charging out the door, leaving Jason once again in charge of the room of demigods, except this time, they were collectively confused. He held up his hand in in a silent wave, as the class, still cowed from earlier, stared blankly into space in his vague direction.

After about a minute, the alarm still blaring, Leo came charging back into the classroom, out of breath and covered in soot.

He gave the class a confident, vaguely psychotic grin, and yelled over the alarms, fiddling with the squirt bottle he still held, "One of my siblings' projects went a little _loco en la cabeza_ , if you know what I mean, so class dismissed! Class will be at the same time next week, and I hope y'all 'll want to see the Super Sized McShizzle-"

The fire wielding son of Hephaestus was cut off by a loud mechanical roar that sounded relatively close, leading to him looking somewhat excited as he smiled devilishly, "I recommend running out to the green as quickly as you can and trying to avoid being eaten."

With that, he dashed out of the makeshift classroom once more, rushing to help his siblings, but in the back of his mind, he was mentally slapping the class with the label 'successful', already planning the lessons for next week.

 **Jason's Latin (hopefully) translates to, "I seriously doubt that."**


End file.
